With ETO’s print publication ceasing production, our Mystery Shopper would like to say the following:
I’ve researched, visited and reviewed adult stores, some lingerie retailers, the occasional supermarket, chemist, and fancy dress outlet, plus a few other random shops for ETO since late 2004. In that time I’ve carefully considered and written nearly a thousand assessments. I’ve seen places I’d only want to revisit for money but far more frequently, shops which are clearly loved.
Care and attention are easily identified when they’ve been lavished on paintwork, lights and floors, display stands, signage and stock, and this is every bit as true of ‘sex shops’ as it is of any swanky boutique or pretentious perfume shop. I’ve also appreciated it when I or another customer has been helped discreetly, carefully, gently, and thoughtfully. The courtesy and kindness I’ve seen and experienced has been touching, so thank you.
It’d be easy to rattle off a list of favourite shops but you’ve counted the stars and read the reviews; you know who you are. And to every four- or three- or two-star shop I’ve ever visited I say I hope you found my comments useful – the articles were never intended to simply bash anyone, even that lone zero-star shop. I’d also say there’s a five-star shop in every four-star one, and a four or five in every three… Keep striving to be better. Keep the clearance baskets topped up, and keep replacing those dead bulbs. Put opening times on the door, hide unused heaters away, put on some music, tidy-up trailing cables, and every day ask what else could you improve.
It’s been a pleasure to watch the UK (and indeed European) adult retail market develop over the years but, sadly, I’ve also seen the number of shops diminish over time. Soho is a shadow of its former self and towns once home to enough targets for a full article now only have one or two interesting shops for review. Demand is met online of course, which lead to a look at a cross-section of web retailers for the magazine several times in recent years. Never my favourite articles to write as without a physical shop to visit and staff to meet, dust to glare at and display tables to admire, they always felt a bit clinical. I can see the appeal for price-conscious consumers, but for intimate items… well, I like receiving a good service I suppose.
My heartfelt gratitude to the dedicated, passionate ETO team who’ve supported my efforts to bring worthwhile, sincere and accurate reviews to readers for over 17 years and I also want to thank and congratulate the retailers, managers, staff, owners, Saturday Girls and Sunday Boys and everyone else who made my monthly expeditions to Saucyville an absolute pleasure. The dedication I’ve seen is humbling and I wish you all the very best for the future. From fearful early visits, it grew to be a – slightly strange – regular treat which took me from Inverness to Truro via most places in between and even beyond. Quite a way to discover the nation’s charms.
At the end, partings are left, right, centre, or absent – a little ex-hairdresser joke for you there – so I won’t say goodbye, I’ll just say cheers.
