Life on Mars: vibe discovered on planet’s surface

Posted: April 1, 2016

Astonishing footage has been released by the European Space Agency and NASA which appears to confirm the discovery of a mysterious bullet vibrator shaped object on Mars. Reports say it was spotted by Spirit, a Mars Exploration Rover, during a routine surface moisture test with its sister rover, Curiosity.

The object appears to be metallic pink and, even more astonishingly, it carries the Rocks-Off logo. Some experts are claiming that this fuels speculation that extra-terrestrial lifeforms are visiting Earth to harvest our sex toys. Indeed, the highest levels of moisture ever discovered on Mars have been detected around the bullet vibrator shaped object.

The UN has hailed the bullet vibrator as the gift that could lead to first contact. UN Space Ambassador Sue Walsh tweeted: “If there’s one thing that our species’ can agree on, it’s the joy of discovering better sex and getting our Rocks-Off.”

Rocks-Off director Ian Marshall said: “I’ve no idea how or why the RO-160mm has ended up there, but all of our products are out of this world.”