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“You looked so far away, what were you thinking of?” “Oh, this and that…”

“First night nerves every one night stand…”

A new survey of 1,300 people by Lovehoney has found that almost half of the women respondents (46%) fantasise about having sex with another man while making love with their current partner. For many women that fantasy figure is a close friend or colleague at work – and 30% end up doing it for real with that close friend and 26% go on to get it on with their work colleague.

Before men get too outraged by these figures, theirs are pretty similar – 42% of them have fantasies about friends and colleagues, with 25% getting the friend between the sheets and 22% working overtime with a co-worker.

A fifth of women (20%) and 11% of men have fantasised about having sex with their boss – and 8% of women and 2% of men have followed through with it.

Lovehoney also found that 70% of women and 63% of men fantasise about what sex will be like with a new partner before they go to bed, with 62% of women and 68% of men saying the experience lived up to their expectations of it.

When it comes to the ex factor, a third of women and 42% of men say they sometimes think of a previous partner while having sex, though only 15% of men and 14% of women say they do it often.

60% of women and 66% of men think fantasising is harmless, and a Lovehoney spokesperson said: “Lots of people do reminisce fondly about former lovers – it is a perfectly harmless thing to do as long as you are not intent on living out that fantasy if you are with someone else. All Lovehoney research shows that sexual fantasies enhance couples’ sexual happiness and are a good thing. Sexual experimentation is to be encouraged because couples who are happy in bed tend to be happy in the rest of their lives.”