Sex workers come out for Hillary

Posted: April 16, 2015

It might read like a scene from Armando Iannucci’s wonderful Veep series, but Hillary Clinton’s campaign to get to the White House has received a ringing endorsement from the girls of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, the world-famous legal brothel in Carson City, Nevada, USA. The sex workers have launched the Hookers For Hilary initiative and have drafted an articulate, informed and detailed document outlining the reasons for their endorsement of the candidate, which references health care reform, foreign policy, economics and the protection of public health – see below for full details.

The Moonlite Bunny Ranch has been trading for 60 years and it is featured in the HBO reality TV series Cathouse. It describes itself as ‘the most successful legal brothel in the history of the planet’. It is one of seven licensed legal brothels located throughout Nevada which are owned by Dennis Hof, who recently released a bio-tome called The Art of the Pimp: A Love Story, which has 42 five-star reviews on Amazon.com

So is this a genuine political initiative or a nicely timed PR exercise by Hof, who has been called ‘the PT Barnum of prostitution’? You be the judge as the sex workers’ reasons for endorsing Hillary for President are reprinted here, verbatim:

Protecting Health Care Reform

Hillary Clinton, as part of her husband’s administration, envisioned health care reform in the 1990s, long before President Obama was able to sign it into law. The Affordable Health Care Act made health insurance available for the first time ever to the 500 independent contractors employed by Dennis Hof. With any Republican nominee likely to work for its’ repeal, the Bunnies want to protect the quality health coverage that they now enjoy.

Foreign Policy Experience

As Secretary Of State, Hillary Clinton gained invaluable experience negotiating with foreign leaders, and the Bunnies can definitely relate to negotiating through a language barrier. The Bunny Ranch entertains customers from all around the globe, and the girls have great respect for any woman who can take powerful men from oppressive cultures and make them bend to her will. With her eye on the international landscape, the Bunnies are confident that President Hillary Clinton would also avoid a repeat of the Secret Service’s Colombian prostitution scandal by making sure that her detail “buys American.”

Support for Agencies To Protect The Public’s Health

Nevada’s mandatory testing of legal prostitutes for sexually transmitted diseases is a successful example of effective government regulation. While Republican candidates have questioned the need for agencies like Health and Human Services (HHS) & the Food And Drug Administration (FDA), the Bunnies applaud Hillary’s recognition of the fact that responsible government oversight is a key to protecting the public’s health from widespread disease.

Prevention Of A Return To Supply-Side Economics

Bill Clinton presided over the most prosperous time in Bunny Ranch history, which coincided with a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans such as brothel owner Dennis Hof. The Bunnies recognise that thriving economies are built from the bottom up, where the vast majority of their clients originate. A return to relying on the disproven theory of trickle-down economics would only serve to exclude the vast majority of hard-working Bunny Ranch clients from having the discretionary income to enjoy with their favourite Bunny.

For more information or to donate to the campaign visit http://hookersforhillary.com

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